Staying with friends

Staying with friends while travelling can be a good idea as they should be able to offer you an insiders guide as to where to go what to do and what to avoid. However, although well meaning friends may actively encourage you to come and stay. If they are parents too, with children of similar ages to your own you could have a wonderful memorable time. However, if they don't have a young child, it maybe memorable for the wrong reasons. The probability is they don't realise or have forgotten what it is like to have a young child in the house.

Ask yourself how you will feel when your baby wakes them repeatedly in the middle of the night. Will you be able to relax for a minute if your heart is constantly in your mouth, as your toddler makes sticky handed beelines for everything that your hosts hold precious?

It may be a far better option to book a hotel room nearby and arrange trips out together, as well as visits to their home, but always bearing in mind, not to outstay your welcome.

Staying with relations

Grandparents, uncles and aunts can have absolutely wonderful relationships with their younger relations, but as much as they enjoy spending time alone with them don't treat them or make them feel like you're only visiting them so they can baby sit while you go off and enjoy yourselves.

Looking after toddlers for long periods can really be just too much strain, especially physically for your older relatives. Remember too that children can get very frustrated by continual demands to keep quiet and grandparents can get very irritated by high noise levels.

There are also safety issues involved in staying with friends or relations Check out Health & Safety: New environments - new hazards.

Travelling with other Families

It is worth considering holidays with other families but you need to take into account the following so as to lessen your potential stress rather than increase it!

Similar Finances

It will be a none starter if you're budgets are going to be widely different. It's also a good idea to set a joint ground rule that all associated finances from the holiday deposit onwards are divided equally thus avoiding any money related conflicts later on.

Trial Weekend

Before booking your two week's in the sun why not suggest a trial weekend? This will enable all of you to test the water.

You will be able to learn whether in fact your children are going to get on with each others - they may be of similar ages and you may be good friends with their parents but neither are a guarantee that the children are actually going to like each other. However, if the other family's parenting style is similar to your own they are more likely to enjoy each others company.

You will also be able to see first hand if your discipline techniques, your children's manners and your families routines, i.e. bedtimes, bathroom habits, are going to be undermined by the other families.

You will be able to learn whether the other couple's relationship is a happy one - marriage glue is not a good role for children who are at least as potent a source of marital conflict as togetherness. You may have just been invited to calm stormy waters!

You will be able to judge if babysitting and childcare is going to be divided equally either between couples or between daddy's and mummy's.

Sharing Everything

If your trial weekend was a success great, let's now think about a longer time period together. Although you got on fine for a weekend it still may be worth considering not living in each others pockets for a longer period - after all we all need our own space at home but more so if we are going to be able to relax and unwind on holiday.

Consider taking adjoining self-catering accommodation rather than one large one for all of you. This worked exceptionally well for us and our friends Rob, Lisa and their little girl Emily in Brittany. Our apartments were right next door to each other so we could socialise as much or as little as we felt like on any particular day or time of day!. We could take turns inviting each other round for breakfast, lunch or dinner, we could get the children to sleep easily within their normal routines without being disturbed, we could easily baby sit both children in the evenings by sitting on either patio or watch them playing safely during the day in our adjoining gardens. We also had no worries over hogging the bathroom!

Driving to your destination

If you are driving to your destination, take your own cars and if you have them, your mobile phones (switched to international roaming) to enable you to stay in contact. Then if you fancy a day exploring the local market and your friends want to relax by the pool you can both enjoy the freedom of doing what you want when you want. This plan also halves the number of potential back seat drivers you will encounter.

Toys

Don't expect your children to share their prized possessions, instead organise with your friends in advance which toys to bring so their is a wide selection for them to play with. If your children are older than your friends remember to only choose toys that will not be a safety hazard to younger children.